Monday, August 16, 2010

Comic Indian Drama

ACP Pradyuman: Abhijeet, apni serial zyada realistic banane ke liye humne decision liya hai ke case solve karne ke ilaawaa baqi din bhar ke jo zaroori kaam hote hain wo bhi hum serial mein dikhaenge...
Abhijeet: Great, sir!
ACP Pradyuman: Abhi meri acting dekho aur guess karo kaunsa zaroori kaam karne jaa raha hoon main…

Abhijeet: Sir lagta hai aapko toilet jaana hai...
ACP Pradyuman: Correct!

Abhijeet: Sir bureau ke baazu mein ek ghar hai, wahan ke toilet mein chale jaana..aur gloves mujhe de deejiye...

ACP Pradyuman: Mujhe is ghar ke toilet ki talashi leni hai.
Servant: Sir, toilet saamne ke room ke andar hai...
ACP Pradyuman: Mere pass door knock karne ka time nahin hai. Daya, darwaza tod do.

Usi waqt us darwaze ki doosri taraf ek aur ek servant darwaza kholne hi wala tha...
Daya ne naukar maar diya!
Dr Tarika: Daro mat Daya, main iski post mortem report badal kar yeh likh doongi...


...ke iske toothpaste mein namak ki kami thi isliye ye mar gaya. Sir aap toilet jaakar aa jaaiye...

ACP Pradyuman: Yahan bhi mere peechhe peechhe aa gaye tum log…jao ab…yahan toh akela chhod do mujhe…

Commercial break ke baad...
ACP Pradyuman: Oh my God! Laash? Laash mili hai? Main hazaron episodes se roz laashein dekh raha hoon lekin mujhe aaj tak achambha hota hai jab mujhe koi kehta hai ke laash mili hai. Phirse karte hain...Oh my God! Laash! Laash mili hai? Kahan? Achha? Ok. Hum log next scene mein pahunch hi rahe hain. Fredericks, gaadi nikaalo.

ACP Pradyuman (singing): जो करे जीवाची होळी,
छातीवर झेलुनी गोळी...oops, wrong song...

ACP Pradyuman: Abhijeet, dekho laash saansein le rahi hai kya...
Abhijeet: @#%^@#^@#@#$

ACP Pradyuman: Salunkhe, x-ray dekhkar kya bata sakte ho?

Salunkhe: Boss, is aurat ke paas marne se pehle do phephde thhe...

ACP Pradyuman: Yeh bhi saala meri tarah nikamma hai…aata toh kuchh hai nahin…pata nahin itne saal serial mein rakha kyun hai...

Abhijeet, Fredericks ko bolo laash ki photos le le.

Fredericks: Sir, kal main Remo Fernandes ki concert attend karne gaya tha, toh videos utaarte utaarte camera ki batteries khatam ho gayin…koi baat nahin sir main sketch banaoonga…

ACP Pradyuman: Abey laash hans kahan rahi thi?
Fredericks: Sir aapki acting dekhke who hansne lagi...aap kahin aur dekh rahe thhe tab..usi waqt maine sketch bana li sir…

Abhijeet: Chaliye sir, as usual randomly kisi jagah jaakar tehqiqaat shuru karte hain…pass mein ek supermarket hai..

ACP Pradyuman: Hum log CID se hain...

Shop owner: Tum log wahi ho na jo Sony tv pe comedy show chalate ho? Meri ek baat samajh mein nahin aati…jab hamesha koi clue dene wala khud hi chalke tumhare pass aa jaata hai, toh tum log tehqiqaat karne nikalte hi kyun ho? Chalo niklo yahan se…aur ye goggle jo tumne try karne ke liye pehna tha wo nikaal ke rakh dena…tumne khareeda nahin hai wo...



Random person 1: Sir main is khoon ke bare mein bata sakta hoon..

ACP Pradyuman: Abey tu hai kaun?
Random person 1: Sir, ye case bhi ek ghante mein solve ho sake isliye mujhe yahan aapko clue dene ke liye bheja gaya hai..
ACP Pradyuman: Haan batao khooni kaun hai..
Random person 1: Ye toh aap sar pe hi baithh gaye…itni jaldi episode khatam karke kya diwala nikalwana hai production house ka? Main sirf ek aadmi ka naam bataoonga…wo aapko next clue dega…

ACP Pradyuman: Lekin ye aadmi humein milega kahan?
Random person 1: Aap uski chinta na karen. Hamesha ki tarah khud hi kahin se aapke saamne aa jaaega aur aapko clue dekar chala jaaega…jaise main aaya tha…

Fredericks: Sir ye kahin se aa gaya aur ye clue dena chahta hai..

Random person 2: Sir main clue dene aaya hoon…lekin formality ke liye pehle kuchh poochho toh sahi..

Abhijeet: Is ladki ki maut hui hai…iske khooni ka naam batao…

Ye jo ladki mari hai, iske pati aur uske lover ne isey maara hai…wo log aapko Samudra nightclub mein milenge...
Ummeed karta hoon ke ab toh aap log pakad hi lenge unhe…ke pakad ke bhi main hi laoon?
ACP Pradyuman: Nahin pakad toh hum log lenge..lekin kuchh tasveer wasweer mil jaati unki toh pakadne mein asaani hoti....
Random person 2: Ek aadmi ka contact number deta hoon..usey do tamache maar do, unki tasveer de dega……toh tamaache maar loge na…ke wo bhi main hi maaroon..?
ACP Pradyuman: Maar lenge..Daya toh aaj kal naukar maar raha hai..tamaacha kya cheez hai..
Random person 2: Naukar maar diya? Ye toh script mein nahin tha…
ACP Pradyuman: 10 saal se kaam kar rahe hain, saale..impromptu bhi koi cheez hoti hai ke nahin…

Daya: Sir wo aadmi mujhe dikh bhi raha hai…set bahut chhote hote hain na sir hamare…main usko 2-3 thappad lagake aata hoon…sab ulti kar dega…
ACP Pradyuman: Haan jao..aur aake batana kya kaha usne…


Daya: Abey saale khooni ki tasveer de...
Random person 3: woaaaaaaaaa...

ACP Pradyuman: Kya bola wo?
Daya: Sir kuchh bola usne lekin samajh mein nahin aaya…aoooooooo..woaaaaaaaa…aisi kuchh awazein kar raha tha..
ACP Pradyuman: Saale …saand kahin ka…itni zor se maarega toh sach much ulti nahin hogi usey toh aur kya hoga…ja ab usse tasveer lele…nighclub chalte hain…climax ke 5 hi minute rakhe hain…unko jaldi pakadna padega..



ACP Pradyuman: Dekho, ye dono yahan gulchharre udaa rahe hain...

Abhijeet: Kyun be..kisi aur ladki ke saath affair karke biwi ko maar diya? Kuchh naya motive nahin mila tumhe?

Criminal 1: Kya karoon sir? Writer logon ne sab motives exhaust kar liye…abhi hum log shuru se shuru kar rahe hain…paanch mahine pehle ke apne hi episodes dekh kar aa jaate toh paanch minute mein case solve kar dete…clue denewale kisi random aadmi ke liye bhi rukna nahin padta...

ACP Pradyuman: Ab tumhe phaansi hogi…phaansi..
lekin uske pehle mere saath dance karogi?
Criminal 2: Dance karna ho toh brush karke aao…din bhar case solve karte ho…brush karne ka bhi time nahin milta tumhe..saanson se badboo aa rahi hai tumhare..chalo jao…ab brush kahan hai wo pata hai, ya uska clue bhi main hi doon?

21 comments:

DaanishTa said...

Daya ne naukar maar diya!

Mohit said...

Thanks for your comment, Daanish :)

quasar said...

Hilarious! You use this form of meme to devastating effect.

Mohit said...

Thanks, Abhishek!!!

M K said...

Excellent mohit, u can start ur own serial - "Operation CID"

Mohit said...

Thanks, MK. I'm not sure which MK you are, but I worked with an MK during my first job, and he was the most amazing group leader I ever had. I hope you are him! And thanks a lot if you are not, too!!

Mayur said...

This one got to get telecast! Some day Mohit, some day :)

Mohit said...

Yayyyy! Thanks, Mayur!

.....and all that said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha .... god.... u have done it .... once again.... ha ha ha ha ha ha

.....and all that said...

that is me ganu btw

MuZiC iN vEiN ! ! ! ! said...

heyy If you don't mind can I buy the rights for this blog post and use it as a script (with du credit of course)for an event called Gunadarshan at Maharshtra Mandal of LA? it is funny as hell... Would defi attract loads!

U r the BOSS Mohit.. Please seriously think about this and let me know!

vishal said...

gr8 stuff.... shud hv ended with "par toothpaste namak waala hi lena"...
cid is still the most trp grossing serial of sony...
one thing u missed out is the phone conversations ... for eg..
person on phone : laash mili hai...
acp : kya? laash mili hai....
person: haa, aurat ki laash hai..
acp : kya? aurat ki laash hai?....
etc. etc.... all repeated always...

Mohit said...

Thanks, Ganu :)

Mohit said...

Akki, "buy the rights" and all, eh? Had we bought the rights when we would pluck out kairis from the tree near Rajesh's house in Mahim? Hah! By all means, use the post! Just whisper my name somewhere :) And I'd love it if I get to see a video of this thing enacted :)

Mohit said...

Thanks, Vishal :) Yeah I had the "repeat conversations" thing at the back of my mind but I probably forgot to incorporate that while I was writing this.

rakith said...

LOL ... quite funny Mohit bhai!

Mohit said...

Thanks, Rakith sir :)

Anupriya said...

This was brilliant!

Haven't seen a SINGLE episode of CID but, what you wrote made complete sense to me :)

Have sent the link to friends, will put it as update on my fb account too.

You must write more!

Mohit said...

Anupriya, thanks for the awesome comments! Will surely write more. Do lemme know if you have a serial in mind that I can write a parody on. I don't watch much television, but I can try :) Thanks again!

Rajiv said...

:D :D

Rida Fatima said...

I would like to say the content is so good and impressive just keep it up and best of luck... Read